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To be fair, Ocean were hit with a number of set-backs tragically close to Total Recall's initial full-price release, namely a total change of development team and the problems with the rights to use Arnie's likeness (which is why the sprite looks little like him!). So perhaps you'd be inclined to hand over your £7.99 more out of sympathy than in the belief that you're about to receive a half-decent game.

Which, I feel it my duty to inform you, you're not. Predictably, crossing Arnold Schwarzenegger with a film tie-in seems to have equalled a run-a-little-man-about-shooting-baddies game with gameplay thinner than a Jacob's water biscuit on a bad day.

More subtle problems with this one include brain-dead baddies who both fall down gaps (which you jump over) and refuse to follow you onto the moving platforms. Due to the limited ammunition, this is something that you'll find yourself using to your advantage repeatedly, even though it doesn't provide the most satisfying way of progressing. Trying to engrave the layouts of the levels on the memory is the only real challenge, collecting objects and pulling switches (on later levels) as you go. And then there're the driving sections (levels two and five) which, just for the record, aren't very good either.

And there we go. Nice graphics, not-very-nice gameplay. Total Recall? (Totally predictably). Total Rubbish, more like.

Okay, perhaps it isn't that bad, but it's the sort of game you've seen before, and were probably hoping you wouldn't ever have to see again. Quite nice graphics though.