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Reviewing For Beginners, Lesson One. "Thunderjaws exhibits everything that's bad in the field of coin-op conversions." Discuss.

Reviewing For Beginners, Lesson Two. In your own words, describe fully (giving examples where necessary) why flimsy, characterless graphics, blippy sound effect, slow, shallow and tedious gameplay which adds nothing to the creaky old Rolling Thunder gentre (which wasn't exactly groundbreaking when it first appeared about four years ago anyway), and a finished product with serious bugs still in it (such as losing a life, then re-appearing in the middle of a floor and immediately losing all your other lives without being able to do anything about it) are unacceptable characteristics of a full-price Amiga game in 1991.

Reviewing For Beginners, Lesson Three. In two hundred words or less, formulate a convincing explanation to support the statement, "I'd rather have my liver pierced with a rusty fork and undergo a particularly unpleasant series of rabies innocultions than have to play this quite disgracefully boring and incompetent production-line conversion job ever again".

Reviewing For Beginners, Lesson Four. Arrange the following words into a well-known phrase or sentence: crap load Thunderjaws of old is a.

Okay, it was only an average coin-op, but this is a dreadful conversion and if Domark seriously expect anyone to pay £26 for it then they're in for a severe disappointment.

Completely awful in almost every way.