One wonders, as one wanders through the reasonably interesting combination of time, space and existence that is 'life', why a human being could waste any time at all playing The Colditz Story, let alone programming it.

It supposedly depicts - logically - your attempted escape from Colditz Castle. The screen shows a view of the castle on the left side, with each window illuminating as you pass through the room. Each room is identically represented in looking-into-a-box form at the top left hand (tiny) corner. Doors are shown on the walls, indicating a possible route, and there are occasionally ladders - no steps? - leading to the next level. You begin in a room at the top of the castle, and work your way down.

Every now and then, the major part of the screen which has obviously been retained for immensely tedious object-handling messages ("You now have items") will change to show a sort of courtyard or similar affair. In these sections, you have to dodge the guards by performing a heroic feat, like crawling behind oil barrels or swinging on a rope.

The game is bugged, with parts of the words Spectrum and Play popping up all over the place, instead of the graphics. There's absolutely no atmosphere, and the whole tragic mess should have been sent to the shredding plant at conception.

Utterly hopeless waste of money. An insult to everyone under the sun. Crass, unoriginal, uninteresting and untested.