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You are One Eye the rootin'est tootin'est, sorry wrong stlye! the most dastardly damnable cur to sail the seven seas although most of the action takes place on what you are led to believe is land.

Various wenches have been kidnapped and trussed up in strategic places (oo-er!). The task ahead is to find out their location whilst battling the oppressive sea dogs that bark at your heels and hinder your progress. Nothing new here. Dice up the bad guys with your cutlass, dodge the bottle throwing imp who takes refuge in a barrel and get to the end of level big boys and cut them down to size.

Some of the sword fighting is quite fun. You can block, parry and thrust to your hearts content and there's some satisfaction in lunging forward for your attack and springing back unharmed, but the variety of gameplay is very limited. When you have slogged your way across the first level you are returned to the beginning to do it all again with the only change being a few more bottles to avoid. There are also some strange characters lurking about. What a ninja school is doing in the middle of a pirate game is beyond me!

To say did not enjoy Skull and Crossbone would be lying, but not to mention the terrible tune would be criminal. This one sent fellow S.U. members running for cover and Garth still can't watch pirate films without covering his ears and humming some Madonna.

The spirit of One Eye will no doubt live on, but he'll turn in his grave when he hears the piper calling his tune.

In the words of that immortal alternative comic Vic Reeves; One Eye "They wouldn't let him lie".