Wish you were here...
...instead of me!"
Terrormolinos is a hilarious text adventure of an outrageous summer holiday spoof set on the Costa Brava. You must survive a two-week package holiday - and return home with ten snapshots to prove it! The game has been created by the authors of the cult hit Hampstead and, as would be expected, there are no wizards or dragons to be found! Instead the perils lie on the beach, in the sea, at the bullring...and, of course, in the restaurant!
And that's not all...the various characters you meet in Terrormolinos come and go - including your own family, which you must try to keep together at all times.
In Terrormolinos, every holdiay disaster can come true! So why spend a fortune going abroad when you can get gippy tummy in the privacy of your own living room?
When chubby-cheeked Cliff Richard first sang "We're all going on a summer holiday," it's unlikely that he was referring to the Costa Brava resort of Terrormolinos, because Terrormolinos is the kind of place you only visit once.
Could you survive a two-week package holiday there, with wife Beryl and kids Doreen and Ken? Among the many perils, you risk being gored by a bull, buried up to your neck in sand, being poisoned, dying of heatstroke, losing an argument with a shark and being run over by a Eurojuggernaut.
The object of the game is not merely to survive the holiday, but to take ten snapshots to prove you did it.
When the program is fully loaded, the message "Welcome To Terrormolinos!" will appear, followed by some initial instructions.
As the game begins, you are not in Spain but at home in Slough. Beryl has booked a taxi to take you all to the airport. The taxi is now on its way and could arrive at any minute!
Since you have typically left all the packing until the last minute, you must quickly scoot around the house collecting everything you will need to take on holiday. In particular, don't forget your passport, tickets, camera and suitcase. They are all somewhere in the house, and there are other things to be found, too, which you will also need.
To move around, use the normal compass directions N, S, E, W, NE, SE, NW, SW. You can also sometimes go up (U) or (D). When using a stepladder, remember to specify UP STEPS or DOWN STEPS.
Apart from movements, most of your commands will be in the form of "verb noun". You will often want to pick things up or put them down, e.g GET SNORKEL or DROP HANKY. If you want to look at something more closely EXAMINE SETTEE, EXAMINE STEPS, or whatever.
Members of the family, and also certain other characters you will meet later, can sometimes be summoned if you CALL them.
Other useful commands are SCORE, which speaks for itself; I for Inventory, i.e. what you are carrying and wearing; R for Re-describe, in case you've forgotten where you are and what objects are visible; QUIT, when you've done enough holiday-making for one day; and SAVE GAME/LOAD GAME, to enable you to save the adventure up to the point you've reached and resume later. Check your computer manual for instructions.
Don't forget that your primary task, apart from keeping the family together, is to take those ten photgraphs. You must use your judgement as to where and when these are to be taken. Your film will have only 12 exposures, so there can only be two duds.
When you take a correct photo, a congratulatory message will appear on the screen. If you take a dud, all you will get is a sarcastic message. Make sure you don't take the same photo twice! Finally, you will have to make special arrangements for locations where there isn't much light.
You can also see on the screen during the game how many correct snaps you have taken.
One of the joys of going on holiday is sitting in a clapped-out bus and being jolted down a hundred miles of cart track on your way to visit some site of interest. Terrormolinos! boasts three such excursions. We suggest that you go on all of them - after all, some of the best snaps are taken on sightseeing trips.
It is possible to complete the adventure with a score of less than 100% as the extra points come from the various other activities you can engage in - which you will have to discover for yourself!
Be prepared for members of the family - and others - wandering off. You must retrieve them when they do this, otherwise who knows what could happen?
On arrival, check immediately into your hotel. Only then can you really start to "enjoy" your holiday.
Some Spanish phrases may come in useful from time to time: HOLA means "Hello", SI means "YES", NO means "No". If you do want a room, ask for UNA HABITACION. That should do!
You may also be asked such questions as QUE QUIRE USTED? ("What do you want?") and HAY EN GRUPO KWIKHOL TOURS? ("Are you with the Kwikhol Tours party?").
Some Useful Verbs
This game was mentioned in the following articles: