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We've been pestering Hi-Tec for months now, but they repeatedly failed to send us a copy of this. I wonder if there's any reason why?

The first disappointment in Top Cat is the lack of the original theme tune, replaced for doubtless economic reasons by a crap and irritating jingle-type thing. The second disappointment is the absurd nature of the obstacles in the game. Top Cat (who is, remember, a cat) is damaged by mice, rats and birds, yet not by big, growling dogs.

The third disappointment is the dire movement of the inanimate obstacles (dustbins, beach balls, etc), which makes it impossible to tell if they're rolling, bouncing, gliding or whatever. Coupled with the pseudo-3D viewpoint, this makes enemy-avoiding a very imprecise art. The fourth disappointment is the utterly, utterly bog standard arcade adventure game design, and the final disappointment is the realisation that we, just like you, had to go out to the shops and fork out eight quid for this (They still wouldn't send us a copy, you see!). It wasn't worth it.

Undemanding stuff that might be okay for the under-12s, but that's about all. Cute, but totally vacuous.