When you tire of kicking the ball, kick your fellow players...
Sometimes my Amstrad thinks he is a Spectrum. When this inferiority complex strikes, I normally slap him around, or even take him to a disc doctor to he sorted out. The most recent attack of this ghastly malady occurred as I was playing Street Gang Football from CodeMasters. Small screen, lumpy scrolling and just about four-colour graphics with squeaky noises for sonics. Obviously Spectrumitus.
SGF pitches two gangs against each other in all-action, bloodthirsty, nose-biting, groin-gouging, mass mas mayhem slaughter frenzy. Yes, it is football time again, this time not on the sacred turf but on the grimy streets, with cars and walls and the stupid old fellow next door who always kept the ball.
Either play against the computer - three skill levels - or a friend, in multi-colour - some of them different - action. Play is fairly standard in highlighting the player under control, which can be changed when off the ball by pressing the fire button.
Dribbling is easy - so easy I would recommend this lot sign for England - and shooting is a case of holding down the fire button for an increasing strength of shot.
If you are winning the game and wish to indulge in a little time wasting nothing could be simpler. All you have to do is take the ball and disappear behind the parked cars - it would take an army to get you out of there.
Life would be great if theory converted into reality but unfortunately in this case it does not. For one thing the game has some serious bugs. The ball finished just in front of my goal, with no-one but the keeper on-screen. He cannot move off the line and none of the other players showed the slightest inclination to appear on-screen. Even after I switched control marker - but not the player himself - he would move up and down but not across on to the screen.The rest of the game ticked away for a frustrating draw Then we had players who became invisible and the program crashing twice in mid-game. For a commercial game that is ridiculous.
Should you be able to play a game, a fracas between the two teams is almost inevitable but, unfortunately, is preceded by a monotonous string of comments from all the players. This becomes even more monotonous if after all the arguing they decide to continue playing.
If fisticuffs follow it is a matter of fierce joystick-waggling to defeat the opposing thug by reducing his energy to zero. The arguments invariably start when you score a goal.
Besides the bugs in the program it suffers from the fact that it scrolls badly, the gameplay is turgid. the sonics insignificant and boredom immense.
CodeMasters is capable of producing simple yet playable games but this one has few redeeming features.