Commodore User

Mike Read's Pop Quiz
By Elite
Commodore 64/128

Published in Commodore User #69

Mike Read's Pop Quiz

Well Hi, pop-pickers, I'm Mike Read. We've now moved into the hi-tech world of home computers. I'll be your host "D.J." throughout the... glurk! (Fades to the sound of Mike being garrotted with his own guitar string.)

Sorry about that. I was having a nice little dream there as I snoozed in front of the monitor. Yes, it's every reviewers worst nightmare come true. A beautiful summery afternoon and I've been locked in a cupboard with only a tiny digitised picture of David Coleman to keep me company. No, that should be Mike Read, shouldn’t it? It must be because all Elite have done is to swap pictures from their last trivia game! For Pop Quiz is A Question Of Sport without the knitwear. A cheap little switcharound it ever there was one.

First off you have to choose your team. Choose three from nine on your indistinct pictures that are meant to be pop stars and you're away. Hold on a minute, I chose an Elvis Costello lookalike and his name's come up as 'Brian'. Worse, the badly made-up blonde woman appears to be called 'Phil'. A transvestite on Mike Read's Pop Quiz? Full marks to Elite for this inspired attempt to break down sexual stereotypes in software. Then it's back to loading again. I can't stand the excitement.

Mike Read's Computer Pop Quiz

The first round is the Jukebox round. Take a numbered square from the board to reveal the subject matter. Unfortunately for me, the captain of the other team (who I think is meant to resemble AC/DC's Brian Johnston) turns out to be a bit of an expert on light classical music. First blood to the enemy. On my team, Phil turns up a little icon which looks like a diagram of the human intestinal track. Country and folk music, in fact. A bit of pot luck and the scores are even.

The next round is Spot The Star. Not from the back of his head when he's clipping his toe nails, I'm afraid. What you get is three clues. Three points if you get it first time, two, second time, etc. By this point I was fast slipping into a coma, but the worst is yet to come. Your Scene is a home and away round, where you can answer questions on the specialist subject at the start of the game. Sadly, I selected intestines, so the opposition stormed into a commanding lead. Then there's Name The Year. Do you know when ELO released their third LP? Was it 1973, 1974 or 1975? No-one in their right minds knows the answer to questions like this and I can't help you either, having guessed wrong. But before you get to the last visit to the Jukebox, you have to endure the Quick Fire Round, where it's impossible to tell where your cursor is.

The sound is appalling, but thankfully irrelevant, and the graphics are mediocre. The quiz is banal and the whole package is endorsed by a man who thinks Acid House is a threat to national security. If you like trivia, it just about scrapes through. Otherwise, avoid like the plague.

Mark Heley

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