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Oh, how interesting. As if playing an ancient and dull card game with real people (as real as the people you know are, anyway) wasn't bad enough, Hoyle's gives you the chance to play them against ST people. The devastatingly exciting games on offer are Old Maid, Hearts, Cribbage, Klondike, Crazy Eights and Gin Rummy. Come on, who can honestly say that they can't recall with a tear in their eye some crazy night spent playing Old Maid over a pot of tea 'till, ooh, midnight? Exactly. Couldn't they have come up with some better games?

But never mind, we have to play the hand that's dealt us. (Supreme apologies.) All the games are played against a background which can frankly only be described as green, with some horribly cute graphics of the other players to liven it up (I think that's the intention). And wouldn't you know, some of our old friends from Sierra's games. Look, there's Princess Thing out of the King's Quest series! And there's Leisure Suit Larry again! And listen, they're making some amusing comments! Goodness what fun this is. Just watch as that card jerks awkwardly from one pile to the next and a bit of scraggly text appears. Giggle inanely at the amusing card designs. Laugh even louder as you switch off the ST and play poker with some real folk instead.

To put all the cards on the table, then (sorry, I really must stop this now), Hoyle can keep his book of games - more of a pamphlet than a book, really - and Sierra may as well give up trying to sell this load of rubbish even at budget price. Invest in a pack of cards instead.

1. Er... it's cheap.

1. Dull games, dull graphics. It should have been laid to rest years ago.