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It was 2:15 in the afternoon, and I'd been working non-stop for the past five hours. There'd been no chance for a lunch break, and I was thinking about a long drink and some time off. So far that day I'd picked up six missing kids, caught four crooks, and taken care of two parcel bombs.

Just another day in the life of detective Barney Bootlace.

You are Barney, a down-on-his-luck store detective. Your job is to uphold law and some semblance of order amid this chaos. Miss too may shoplifters, ignore the odd parcel bomb, and your boss will be after you. Keep him happy and you get to move up to the next floor.

The graphics in Catcha Snatcha are little short of superb. The action takes place around a maze of counters and in each corner is a set of doors. These represent the missing children office, lost property, the manager's office, and the main exit.

When you spot thieves in action you have to work out a route that will intercept them on their way to the exit because poor old Barney just hasn't got the speed to overtake them. As if this wasn't enough (and believe me, it is) every so often one of the international terrorists - who apparently pick up their groceries at the store - will leave behind a parcel bomb. You must pick it up and carry it into the street.

There are problems with the game. For one, the sound effects are rather pathetic - a tedious ticking of the clock, and some clicking sounds which, I suppose, represent footsteps.

For another, Barney is a has-been. He can barely keep up with the shoppers at the best of times, and once they get the exit in sight, they take off like Seb Coe going for the red tape.

Catcha Snatcha is a very clever idea with excellent graphics. Unfortunately, it fails in too many areas. The speed difference between Barney and the crooks is so unfair it simply becomes frustrating, and there is too little difference in levels to offer much incentive.

But in the war against crime, a man's gotta go what a man's gotta do. I gave up.