Previous Next

Many have come to worship at the altar marked Ice Hockey within the video game denomination, but Britain may still be regarded as Land of the Infidel. Try as they might, sport moguls cannot get us into a lather about a sport traditionally played by schoolgirls with big shins short skirts, even if it is on ice and has more fractures to the pound than rugby. But the situation is not as cut and dried as it may seem.

Although ice hockey has as many devotees as televised dominoes in the UK, the previous games, notably the EA ones, have managed to shift a fair few copies (which is more than can be said for Virtua Domino). The tricky bit for any new contender is to match the critical acclaim and commercial success of the three previous EA titles. So grab your popcorn and let's just see how Time Warner have fared, shall we?

All the teams and stars of America's NHLPA league, with the all-time scoring champ Wayne Gretzky lending his weight to proceedings.

Forget the Yanks - here's the world vis-a-vis Ice Hockey, with our own (as Sean Connery would say) faschinating faxsh.

1. Finland
   It's brass monkeys here, which is why the natives love nudey saunas. Got its name from the fact that its popular are in fact half-human, half-fish.
2. Sweden
   Also a bit nippy on the meat and two-veg. Purveyors of bands like Roxette and Abba. Consequently, highest suicide rate in the world.
3. Czechoslovakia
   Whoops! Someone should have told Time Warner that Czechoslovakia no longer exists. Sensibly, the people decided to split into Slovakia and, er, Land of Knob.
4. Russia
   Quite a big place, but the people are so poor that they have to play with stale bread rolls and walking sticks. And they're so ratted on vodka that they rarely bother.
5. Canada
   Usually, a nation of Americans waiting for personality transplants and decent credit limits. Also, not the best place for a relaxing fishing holiday. If you're Spanish.
6. America
   You can't say a word against these guys. Well, you can't unless you want Ice-T firing a MX missile into your backyard with "Love from Amerika" etched on it.

I don't find this the most attractive gambit in hockeying in any sense. Visually it's all a bit too chunky and nondescript to get the pulse racing. The sprites have been intentionally enlarged, but I fail to see any benefits of that in terms of increased detail or realistic animation.

I would imagine that four-players might have fun mucking about, but this is not realistically set to topple NHLPA Hocket from its long hegemony.

To get the best out of this game, whack it down to three-a-side and take out the goalkeepers. Then there's a modicum of short-term enjoyment. Otherwise, it all becomes tedious within a short space of time. And don't throw out your copy of EA Hockey.

Animation 47%
N. Given that the sprites are so big, little attempt has been made to add character or realism to their movement. The puck also fails to convince.

Music 38%
N. It's not good music.

Effects 66%
P. The speech has had attention and fares quite well.
N. Some of the stifled FX are laughably poor.

Playability 57%
P. The four-player goalies-free mode has something going for it.
N. There's no really much depth or subtlety, on the rink that is.

Lastability 54%
P. Hey, you can rearrange teams to your heart's content.
N. The thought of an 84-game season does not appeal, strangely.

Overall 59%
To be brutally frank (and aren't we always?) search out a cheap copy of one of the EA games instead.