When you're feeling tired and depressed, it's quite common to get a sudden urge to walk out under a moving car. This is inadvisable, as there's a very good chance that you may end up dead. Instead, why not purchase a square-shaped piece of plastic and shove it into one of those useful receptacles known in the trade as a disk drive. It sometimes works.
And now there's a piece of plastic like no other. Yes, folks, Viz, home of Finbarr Saunders (source of endless double entendres), and the world's greatest receptacle for bad jokes, has produced its very own computer game.
Top of the bill are Johnny Fartpants, Buster Gonad and Biffa Bacon, taking part in a race, staged in the sunny own of Fulchester, hosted by the world-famous Roger Mellie and FTV. The course covers five sections, each littered with obstacles. Fail and you're forced to retire with egg on your face: win and you don't even get a prize. But then that's life all over - crap.
Despite a disability which would bring tears to other people's eyes. Buster Gonad remains cheerful about the fate which has befallen his unfeasibly large testicles. It's their all-purpose versatility that makes them as useful as a third arm.
Biffa doesn't need words - he uses his fists. Buy him a pint and he'll be your friend for life. Spill it, and you get a free trip to hospital.
Distinguished from an early age by a fetish for pickled eggs, Johnny's brown and dirty underpants are the product of a lifetime's windy bottom - a talent which has made him famous.