Mine is Count Duckula 2. Andy's is Silly Invaders (mainly because he hasn't played anything else and still can't clear a screen), but Linda's all-time crap game is none other than Santa's Xmas Caper. By golly, our illustrious Ed gave this game a right old pasting. Fourteen percent was the final verdict. So it was with a heavy heart that I loaded this 'un up.

And was pleasantly surprised. Linda's main bone of contention seemed to be the ludicrous perspective - Santa and his sleigh were the smallest sprites on the screen, dwarfed by all the enemies and even their bullets. This is true, but there you go. The gameplay is basically shoot-'em-up city, with the jolly plot substituting naughty pixies and presents for aliens and lasers. Admittedly survival in the game is mostly a matter of luck - one broadside from the baddies and you've had it, cos there's no room to manouevre - but still. I quite enjoyed skimming the igloos of Lapland and zapping bouncing penguins. Santa is an appalling game - there's no denying that - but it has an endearingly tacky quality to it. Almost as if it were shouting 'I'm crap - and proud of it!' Tested on my personal scale of crap games, it comes out rather well. Leaving Duckula 2 standing (Santa's fun to play, y'see) it passes both Tilt and Shadow of the Beast (it's action-packed and easy to handle), coming to rest just behind the legendary Friday the 13th. For the connoisseur of crap, a necessary purchase.