Q. What do you get if you cross a BMX simulator, a Grand Prix simulator, a ski simulator and a snooker simulator?

A. An alarm-clock radio. Ha ha. Oh... Wrong punchline. No, you get four sports simulators neatly scrunched into one. (Ahem.) First to scrogg it is BMX Simulator - the game which put the word 'simulator' into, erm, simulators. Dash around billions of different bumpy tracks on BMXs (avec an overhead

of it, except this time there are no spooky ramps or bumps, hence its not quite such a laff. But still pretty good.

Verging more towards the skiing side of things there's, erm, Pro Ski Simulator. It's your usual ski-down-a-slope-at-27-billion-miles-an-hour jobby. Playable but boring. And finally we come on to Pro Snooker Simulator, which, to be honest, is a bit crap really due to the severe lack of colours (pink sort of flashes at you and green - well, don't ask about green) and a complete lack of realism - there are balls flying all over the shop. And there. my luvvlies, you go. One brill game, one good game, one not-quite-so-good-but-not-that-bad-either game, and one crap one. What do you reckon, gang? Same here. A complete barg.