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"POD has no pretentious storyline" is the sort of sentence that's guaranteed to fill the heart of an overworked reviewer with dread every time. There goes my witty, topical intro paragraph. Still, saves on typewriter ribbons I s'pose.

In the unlikely event that you're interested, POD stands for "Proof Of Destruction." and it's billed as the most addictive shoot 'em up ever. I just hope the Trades Descriptions Act doesn't apply to computer games, or Mastertronic will be in it up to the shoulders.

POD uses the prehistoric grid format, in which the alien scum comes hammering down the screen at you, ready to be picked off by your gun turret. If you can survive their onslaught until the timer runs down, you have the dubious pleasure of going on to the next level.

The graphics, if a bit UDG-esque, move nice 'n' smoothly, but sadly there's nothing in the way of colour. Except, that is, for the migrane-inducing background, which can luckily be switched off. What's more, there's no sound, and what use is a shoot-'em-up without a few ear-drum mangling FX!?

This isn't really up to scratch, even for a budget game, so as far as I'm concerned it can just POD Off!

"Is it possible for a game to be more un-original, or boring, than this? Answers on a postcard..."