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Remember being a baby - those days when thumb-sucking and potty training filled your time and a tin of steamed leek, apricot and radish puree baby food was a gastronomic delight?

If you do you'll remember the nursery rhyme about the three little pigs who kept on having their houses blown down by Canis lupus, a wolf in Latin clothing. And you'll be thrilled to know that the eldest of those poor little porkers is still having problems.

He still wants to construct his own little two up/two down with roses round the front door. There are enough building materials and tools to gladden the heart of any navvy scattered around the piggy's world of mazes.

And, just to prove that he's really looking hard for all those building materials, when Piggy leaves the exit of one maze he can find himself transported to locations as surprising as a space port and the moon. (Look - as has been explained elsewhere in this issue, we don't write these games, OK?)

It wouldn't be so bad - for our four-trottered friend, that is - if all the piggy had to do were pick up those bare necessities. But every maze is populated by wildlife that can turn him into streaky rashers - ghosts, bees, cat's heads, stoop-backed harridans and of course Mr Wolf himself. It's enough to make even the hardiest piglet run 'wee, wee, wee' all the way home... if he had a home.

Joysticks: Kempston
Graphics: Very simple UDGs with plentiful but ugly colour
Sound: Simpler than the graphics

Ha, ha, ha! Bug Byte was around at the very beginning of Spectrum time, and this looks like an unreleased 1983 game. There is a grand total of one joystick option, set keys, a strong contender for worst tune of the season, and graphics which are bettered by most On The Screen demos. Piggy is probably, along with Top Ten Hits's Grid Iron, the worst game I've played.

This takes me back to the days of simple titles, attempts at loading screens, cute uncomplicated plots. And if it comes from those days, it should have stayed there: all the sprites are the same size, even the eponymous Piggy and the borders, and the tune is miserable. There's absolutely no point buying stuff like this when much better games are available at the same price.

I'm appalled that a company such as Bug Byte, old and respected, would release such trash. As in most thoughtlessly-programmed games, the collision - detection is very dodgy (it's character collision, in fact). And it seems no time has been spent on programming graphics, sound and playability - so certainly no time should be spent playing with them.