Mr. Weems And The She-Vampires (Piranha) Review | Zzap - Everygamegoing


Mr. Weems And The She-Vampires
By Piranha
Commodore 64

Published in Zzap #29

Mr. Weems And The She-Vampires

Tracking down vampires isn't only the sport of the Van Helsing family - Mr Weems also thinks that it's a pretty good way of passing the time. His latest escapade involves tracking down and kiling the Great She Vampire, and this release from Piranha gives you full control over his blood-filled adventure.

The action is set in She Vampire's six-level, flick screen mansion. The enormous house is filled with a maze of rooms and corridors, barred by locked doors. Mr Weems progresses by collecting keys and opening the doors which block his route to higher levels. Hidden doors and magic transporter blocks also provide help along the way, but these have to be found by trial and error.

Spread throughout the spooky halls are coffins and pots which break open to reveal Giant Bats, lumbering Frankenstein monsters and vile She Vampires. As soon as they see the unfortunate hero, they give chase and suck his blood, represented numerically below the main display. If this number falls to zero, Mr Weems dies. Luckily for our mild-mannered hero, there are bottles of blood lying about which replenish his lost corpuscles. He can also take a garlic pill to give himself a short-term immunity to others' blood-sucking attentions.

Not content with merely smelling like a French chef, Weems also totes a garlic-firing gun with limitless cloves. A couple of accurate shots from this sends a blood-sucking monster back from whence it came. The gun is also used to smash pots and destroy the creatures before they have a chance to emerge.

On reaching level six, our vampire enthusiast finds the Great She Vampire's penthouse lair. There, he kills her at his leisure, but only if he has collected a stake, mallet, mega-garlic piece, mirror and crucifix en route.

If he manages to despatch the Great She Vampire, Weems must make like Seb Coe and leave the vampire-ridden Mansion before her enraged minions seek him out. What a strange hobby...!


I suppose Mr Weems can be pigeon-holed along with the other multitude of Gauntlet lookalikes - except that it's one of the worst to have shuffled onto this mortal coil so far.

It's absolutely pathetic, looks a complete mess and plays the same. I couldn't believe how easy it is to die - I had about five goes in as many minutes! One *major* annoyance is the fact that leaving a location and then re-entering results in the re-appearance of all the baddies that I'd just slaughtered; often causing immediate death.

This is a surprising release from Piranha, just when they looked like they were getting their act together. Mr Weems? No fangs...


And still the Gauntlet clones come! This one is simply appalling, combining all the worst elements of the genre with dire graphics and abysmal sound. The gameplay is awful. You can destroy all the pots on one screen, go off, return a second later and they're back - monsters and all!

The control method is really fiddly, and when nearing the border it's all too easy to accidentally move off screen and end up in a middle of a load of pots - resulting in a swift demise.

This frustrating element is made even worse by the pathetic collision detection on the monsters. The £9 price tag is rather hopeful - I certainly wouldn't part with it for this.


When are we ever going to see the end of these poor Gauntlet clones? Admittedly the scenario is novel, but the gameplay is identical to that which Druid started on the C64 a year ago - only a lot worse.

Worse still, the whole game looks absolutely awful, with incredibly crude sprites and backdrops. In fact, the way the monsters wobble around the screen like cripples with bunions is about the only entertaining aspect of this almost terminally boring game.

Steer well clear of Mr. Weems - it may well drive you batty.


Presentation 52%
A useful redefine key option, but otherwise messy and slipshot.

Graphics 23%
Dreadful characters with amateurish and undetailed backdrops.

Sound 8%
What's there is harsh on the ears, and very ineffective.

Hookability 30%
The messy screen layout and tricky control method destroy any initial enjoyment.

Lastability 17%
For too frustrating to provide any enjoyment.

Overall 19%
A poorly designed and executed Gauntlet derivative.