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We know you. You're a nipper at heart, aren'tcha? You little weasel! What wouldn't you do, eh? Given half a chance you'd be nipping around town causing trouble. Nah, don't you look at us with those baby blue eyes, you don't fool us. You'd like to play a game called Jack the Nipper, the tale of the naughtiest boy in the whole town.

One evening, when his mum and dad thought he was fast asleep, Jack fell against the side of his cot and bingo, it was open. He was freeeeeeeee! Now all he had to do was get his trusty peashooter down from its shelf and he could sneak out and cause lots of lovely mischief. Heh heh heh.

Having procured his 'shooter and made it as far as the living-room the problems of getting around town become clear. Being such a notorious nipper, everyone recognises him and, if they catch him, they give him a good smack. Every time he gets a smack (and this is a natural reaction, and I should know. Never mind how!) he wets his nappy to bring on the old nappy rash. Once you reach a certain saturation (yuk!) of 'rash' you lose a 'life' - or to put it another way, change your nappy. You've only got five nappies so you have to box clever to avoid any close encounters of the ... er ... spanking kind.

Throughout the game there are over twenty naughty, nasty, evil, not to say devilish, pranks, japes, wheezes and plain dirty tricks. You can send the launderette into a spin. You can glue up the teeth in Gummo's Munching Molars. You can even put a sock in it at Hummo's Socks, or put a credit card in it at the Bank. And frankly, scaring the cats at the Police station (and the other places they can be found) is a hooting good way to pass the time.

So, what's this nipper got that other game lack, hmm? Well, for starters the game contains surprisingly bright and loud sound effects of genuine arcade quality. The graphics virtually leap off the screen at you. All the characters are nice big, well masked sprites, which avoid attribute foul-ups the sensible way, by having mostly one colour throughout any one scene. And the graphics have that comic book look, but not your American superhero type, more the Beano and Dandy style. The Bash Street Kids are back!

Jack The Nipper will be a confident hit I'm sure, bearing, as it does, all the hallmarks of a lasting favourite.

Heh heh heh.