Goal Out Of Control

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These double-sided tapes are a great idea, but why are so many of them incorrectly labelled? Time and energy could be saved if just a little thought was given to file names, for example using 'Elkload' or 'Bbcload' instead of 'Loader'.

Goal features a view of the section of the pitch currently containing the ball - either the goal mouth or the centre of the pitch - and invovled a match between Liverpool and Tranmere Rovers. Guess which team I was attempting to control!

Although the game lacks joystick control and a two-player mode, it is a fairly realistic simulation, offering goal kicks, throw-ins, balls which bounce back into play off the goal post, and more. Play lats for a token ninety minutes - in reality thirty minutes - and although there's a half time whistle, the teams don't change ends. This is a pity, as it allows Liverpool to kick towards the Kop for the whole match. A novel educational feature is that the scores are displayed in hexadecimal notation, which helps keep the tally down.

The machine emits a helpful beep when Tranmere make contact with the ball, but also insists on a dreadful and interminable congratulatory tune every time Liverpool score. I can only advise you to keep your thumb on the Space bar throughout. It stops the music, but allows the beeps.

I could forgive this game its many minor shortcomings if it wasn't for a fundamental flaw: it's just too difficult for beginners. It claims to adjust its skill level during the game depending on the current state of play, but no-one I know would play it twice. I persevered out of a sense of duty, but never scored a single goal.

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