Computer Gamer


Blood 'N Guts
By Action
Commodore 64

 
Published in Computer Gamer #24

For all you nasty gamers, here's a Gamer nasty which proves that there is room to swing a cat in the Commodore 64.

Blood 'N Guts

After the tension of the Decathlons, the heat of Summer Games, the chill of Winter Games and the round the world tour of World Games, travel back in time for the barbarian games that feature "all the violence and brutality you've ever dreamed about" (suitable only for persons of fifteen years and over)!

Ancient history, Swedish style, features heroic struggles between great champions such as Nop, Knorr, Hawk and Dog in events that range from the titanic struggle of the ale drinking to the finesse required in cat throwing.

You battle for the tribal honours, either against human or computer (droid) opponents or you can tune up your skills in secret practice sessions. Sooner or later, you'll meet your opponent in the first event, the tug of war.

Blood 'N Guts

Each event loads in separately from the game tape but a turbo load ensures that the delay is kept to a minimum and just long enough to pour yourself a good quaff of ale. As the froth settles, the first scene appears showing two barbarians ready for a tug of war over a river. The winner gets the spoils, the loser a mouthful of river.

Underneath the display are two energy bars that are used as the players tug at the rope. Pulling the joystick down releases a small burst of energy, pressing the fire button gives a bit more and using both together gives an almighty heave that pulls your opponent towards the drink but costs you a lot of energy. The secret is to pull, then rest, then pull again once your energy has recovered. This must be timed carefully or you'll become exhausted and will be easily beaten or will regain control just in time with one foot already in the river.

Event Two opens with a tower in the centre of the screen. In front of it is a graduated sequence of lines that you must reach with a giant leap from the ramparts. Pushing the joystick down and then up will give you an extra lift before the crucial button press for the landing. Being part of the Barbarian Games, the competitor must, of course, land on his head to complete an approved jump. Three jumps decide the winner with the score to beat clearly displayed on the right of the screen.

Blood 'N Guts

The rock-rolling event has got to be the hardest in the whole competition. Like the tug of war, you can only move in you've got enough energy but this time you're pushing a giant rock up a steep path that loops around and down towards your opponent. The first player to get to the top can therefore roll his rock down on top of his opponent. Now, however, the job is made more difficult as you have to work for the energy by frantic joystick-waggling. Notch up a win for the computer droid!

2-1 to the computer but now an excellent chance to equalise as the next event is my specialist subject, beer drinking. Standing on a stage of boulders, surrounded by trees and animal skins decorated with the skulls of past Blood 'N Guts contestants, our two athletes race to drink barrels of ale.

Pushing the joystick brings the barrel to your lips and the beer begins to flood down your throat. A cut-away section of each player's head shows the flow that must be maintained by frantic waggling. You can stop for a breather if you want to waste valuable time, but if you rush your drink and spill a drop the contest is lost. A giant belch marks the victory in the first of three contests that is soon followed by two more. Those years of practice have all been worthwhile!

Blood 'N Guts

More skulls decorate the next event that features a barbarian encased in stocks that form the target for the rock throwing Human Hit event. In a test of speed and accuracy you must hit the target's nose, left arm and feet three times, in sequence, as quickly as possible. You have to be quick and on target because the computer sets a fast time that can only be beaten with a minimum of mistakes. This isn't easy, particularly since the aiming cursor refuses to stay still (probably caused by the beer drinking!). 3-2 to me.

The computer got its revenge for my narrow (two second) win in the Human Hit by belting me more times that I could in the next event - the pole fight.

Sitting astride a log that lies across a deep ravine, the players must hit each other with tree clubs in the shortest of all the events. The loser plummets into the ravine but is always patched up in time for the cat throwing.

Blood 'N Guts

Once again you must beat the computer's crack performance by hurling a moggy as far as possible, preferably in the right direction. Pressing the fire button sets your barbarian into a spin. Pressing the button again will launch the moggy but your timing must be accurate or the cat will be hurled aimlessly into a tree, a fence or one of the hungry-looking crowd that are waiting for a stray throw.

The distance of the cat chuck depends on your barbarian's spin speed that gradually increases but then rapidly falls off as the player tires. The best distance in three throws wins the event.

After all that exertion one dare-devil reporter was ready for a peaceful mountain stroll only to find the path lay across a tightrope strung between two mountains! The object is to tightrope walk to the centre of the rope before your opponent gets there from the other side. The first one to the middle ends the contest by bouncing up and down on the rope sending the other contender for another dive.

Blood 'N Guts

Taking steps is easy enough and achieved by pressing the fire button but you may must then move the joystick to counteract any losses of balance. These are shown in close-up inserts of the two barbarians and must be judged carefully or you'll cause even more problems. Best of three again decides the winner with the loser receiving quick patch-up surgery in time for the ninth event.

Remember the classic John Wayne Westerns when the big man traded punches with a young upstart? Axe-throwing is the barbarian equivalent of that, with the players taking turns to hurl choppers at each other. Standing on top of crates (?) you must jump over or duck under your opponent's throws while aiming yours in flight by pulling the joystick. Despite this super human control you must anticipate his move to make the axe count. One hit and the event is over.

The contestant having fallen off mountains, been clobbered by boulders and axes and recovered from the attempts to hurl themselves head first off towers now line up for the final event, the armwreck.

Blood 'N Guts

Three arm wrestling contests decide the winner with joystick-waggling, once again, being the deciding factor. The loser has salt rubbed into his wounds by a bird that flies overhead and delivers the final blow.

6-4 to the computer isn't a bad result but it means the end of the road for poor old Nop. In Blood 'N Guts, the overall loser literally loses his head thanks to an on-podium guillotine.

The decathlon of ancient athletics is supported by good graphics depicting ten events that are actually fun to play. The action can be accompanied by atmospheric grunts from the players such as UGG!, UGG!, AAARGH!, KILL which is Swedish for Ugg!, Ugg!, Aaargh!, Kill!

Take a break from the serious Olympic events and practice for a manic night of cat throwing, beer drinking, axe throwing and tower jumping. [Sounds like an 18-30 holiday to me! - Ed]