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Get ready for a rant! I wish there wasn't any censorship. I wish I could describe to you just how atrocious this game is using the language it deserves. Unfortunately, in the interests of taste, I'm restricted to such phrases as "pretty bimmm' awful".

The game opens with you, playing either an unhealthily muscle-bound barbarian or a Newton-defyingly top-heavy princess, being attacked by a red blob on legs [Sounds like you after you've been lying in the sun too long! - Ed]. This blob has one simple attack pattern - waiting forward and kicking you. Great - so you just have to kick back... and kick, and kick, and finally it decides to die. The next obstacle is a river of lava, which you just have to jump over. This doesn't pose too much of a problem, so it's on you trudge.

Strange beast number two is a purple thing on legs which just stands there stabbing away in your direction; you try to get the occasional swing back at it, but you spend far too much time reeling from its annoyingly well-timed attacks to make a decent attempt.

Not that there's much point in trying because things don't get any better. You can be attacked by something that's not even on the screen yet, and you'll go flying backwards into a pit without being able to retaliate. Then there are the times when you walk onto a screen and get knocked straight back out again by some nasty before you can even raise your sword.

What more can I say? [About another two paragraphs worth by the look of it - Ed] The game is moderately well-programmed, with average graphics, but having said that, Barbarian 2 can't really, in the sense of the word, be called entertaining. In fact, the phrase "dire rubbish that makes you realise how much fun GCSEs really are" springs to mind.

If you buy carts to take advantage of well-thought out games that use the extra capabilities of the Plus, why don't you do just that and avoid buying Barbarian 2?